I wanted to share a quick thought with you this week. I had considered writing this just for my newsletter subscribers, but I think the message is so important that I needed to share it with all of you. (and if you haven't signed up to the newsletter, you can do so here or at the top of the page.)
The message of Un-Copied Life is to be yourself, your true self, not a copy. And certainly not who someone else thinks you should be.
I want you to be comfortable in your own skin, to accept your own opinions, and to believe in your capabilities.
This, however, is not an excuse to become stagnant and anchored in your mindset.
I want to make sure you understand the difference, because it's important!
Being yourself doesn't mean refusing to change.
It means refusing to become someone else. It means refusing to become someone you aren't.
But change? We're always changing. We aren't who we were yesterday. How can we possibly say we can't change, or that we shouldn't?
We all have people in our life who want us to think something different, or say something else. Everyone around us is an "expert" on something and they all have advice for us. There is always something they think we should do.
Sometimes they really are trying to show us something about ourselves that needs attention, and sometimes they're after their own agendas. The sad part is that most of us don't have the time to analyze every bit of advice and see what's what. So what do we do?
When do I act?
Here is a quick, 2 question guide to help you decide when to act on, and when to dismiss, advice given to you.
- How did you react? Strong reactions, either positive or negative, are indicators that we need to give something our attention. Anger, for example, is a sign of underlying emotions that you've likely been neglecting. Figure out what is making you react and why. Strong reactions are where you need to put your focus.
- What are your motives? Forget everyone else. Their motive is irrelevant. Even if they are angling for themselves, you don't want to shoot yourself in the foot by being stubborn. Don't refuse (or consent) just because someone asked you to. Question your initial decision and make sure that what you choose is for you— not because of the other person.
You can change. Everyone can.
Saying you can't change is a lie. The truth is that you don't want to. You don't want to admit to yourself that something isn't right. You don't want to make the effort.
And I'm not saying you should or that you need to. I simply want you to truly look at yourself. Be honest.
Know what you believe. And more importantly know why.
Change the parts that aren't you.
Then you can honestly say, "This is who I am."
What is your experience with unsolicited advice? Share in the comments below.
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Photo courtesy of Neelaka
