Ah, it's that time of year again...
Celebrations, family, joy, food, giving, and New Years resolutions. Yes, the dreaded New Years resolution (or much anticipated for a small few).
There are many that claim these resolutions are doomed from the start, and in reality most resolutions never see the bright red hearts of February.
But is it really that we can't keep resolutions, impossible even?
Call me an optimist, by I say no. I say that it's entirely possible...
If you're prepared.
So, what can you do to prepare for 2013?
Start with the end in mind
Most resolutions fail because they are simply not created with any kind of staying power. So, you've been a smoker for twenty years, but you think you're going to quit cold turkey and succeed? It's certainly possible, but the statistics are weighing heavily against you.
Instead, decide that you will be 100% smoke-free by December 31st. Smoke a pack a day? Decide that you will be down to half a pack by June 30th. And so on and so on. Yes, it make take you an entire year to quit, but isn't that still faster than waiting for another New Years to roll around?
Instead of starting the year off with lofty goals, that even you admit are unlikely, start with a plan. Decide when you want your goal to be completed by, write it down, and mark off a half-way point as well. This will give you some freedom with your goals, enough time to correct should you get off track, and it sets the stage for making lasting habit changes in your life.
Make a list
Start with a big list, with no rules save one, they should all be something that you absolutely want to do. No making resolutions just because everyone else is. No deciding to do things you know you absolutely won't do.
You can include big things, and little things, job things, and home things. Whatever, as long as you want it enough to work for it.
Not a list maker? Go ahead and try it anyway. What you're doing isn't working, right? Time to try something new.
Ditch that all or nothing thinking
You're going to falter at some point (or several). You're going to fall off the wagon. But you just gotta get back on and hold on a little tighter. Life isn't a football game or a game show. Losing weight or quitting cigarettes is not a pass/ fail, win/lose scenario. As long as you're making even teeny, tiny steps toward your goal, you're winning.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
Too many of us think that the road to success is a straight shot, but that couldn't be further from the truth. In reality the road to success looks more like a bowl of spaghetti, twisting and turning, even curling back in on itself, with a few misleading straight shots in between.
[caption id="attachment_569" align="aligncenter" width="553"]
The Road to Success[/caption]Have fun
If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong. Even the most painful, boring, or loathesome of tasks can be made fun. If you're trying to lose 30lbs, but the thought of hitting the treadmill again makes you want to cry, then don't! Go outside, play a game, take a hike. Turn up the stereo, grab a kitchen spoon, and make like Mick Jagger. If you can find a way to make things fun, you'll keep doing them.
Now I have a favor to ask you.
Part of my 2013 bucket list includes a lot of changes to Un-Copied Life, including some freebies (one of which you'll get to see before the end of 2012!), an e-course, and more!
All, I need you to do is tell me what topics you'd be most interested in. You can do so by filling out this survey. It's quick (only 7 questions!) and your information will not be shared with anyone. The information will be used only to help me get a better idea of the types of things you'd be most interested in seeing on the blog in the coming year.
Please note that all questions are required to be answered before you can proceed to the next page. If you absolutely can not think of an answer to the question, simply enter n/a into the box.
Thank you so much for all the support you have shown me this year. Here's to making 2013 a bang from beginning to end!
Click here to take the survey.
What's on your 2013 bucket list? Share in the comments below.
Image 1 courtesy of Lori Ann
Glad you included fun. That's number one for me. If it's not fun, I don't want any part of it. Much of 2012 was spent learning to say hell no to non-fun items and people. And it is no coincidence that 2012 has been the best year of my life. More fun and sharpening my philosophy in 2013!
ReplyDeleteGotta have the fun, for sure!
ReplyDeleteHi Kim,
ReplyDeleteI love your 'bowl of spaghetti' road to success!
It's reminds me of walking a labyrinth, you get near the centre and then the path whips you right away from where you are wanting to go, but then it circles you back in, and you realize even when the path seemed to be taking you the wrong way, you were always headed towards the centre.
Ah Dave, the more I hear you mention these labyrinths, the more I want to find one!
ReplyDeleteI just want to get more productive in the coming year. I'm not a resolutions person, but I am setting the intention to produce more on my blog this year.
ReplyDeleteHi Kim,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your survey seems broken. When I get to question number 5, the radio box for the "Mindfulness" and "Discovering/Reforming your identity" are interfering with each other. Since both answers are required, and I can only select an answer to one, I can't complete the survey. I'm using Firefox 17.0 if that's useful to troubleshoot.
Second, some people do really well with all or nothing goals. I should know...I'm one of them. :) But I agree that most folks will fail miserably until they try for incremental change. I have my goals for 2013 all mapped out and I plan to share them in an upcoming post on Value of Simple. I'll save you the wall of text here for now (thank me later).
I'm a huge fan of baby steps so I am in total agreement on your approach to New Year's "resolutions.' I spent most of my life in that 'all or nothing' mentality, and let me tell you changes have a hard time sticking that way. Yet with small steps in the right direction we build true momentum to lasting change!
ReplyDeleteI recently read a book about The Kaizen Way which is very compatible with your suggestion of marking a half-way point on your goals. With Kaizen, you take tiny steps on a continual basis. I have really embraced the process of reaching goals by allowing steady progress rather than expecting to suddenly and fully arrive at the goal.
ReplyDeleteLove that road to success map. Maybe I've been on the right path all along. :)
I'm giving myself a kind of theme, I guess you could say. I'm wanting to further explore Buddhism and see what it can teach me - and so I'm wanting 2013 to be a year of patience and compassion.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me know, Joel. I've changed the question to a different format and it appears to be working correctly now.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of in the middle. For me, some goals need to be all or nothing, but most need to be baby steps. I look forward to see your goals. I'm still working on my list.
I would always try weightloss in an all or nothing mentality.. and wow, that doesn't work. Least not for longer than 2 weeks, for me anyway.
ReplyDeleteI think the small steps helps to build, not just momentum, but habits. We are all so much creatures of habit... and if we can build good habits, then we'll still be doing good on our "lazy days" because they won't be quite as lazy as they used to be.
Ooooh I haven't heard of this book. I'll have to read it!
ReplyDeleteI love the half-way point, it helps mark your progress, and gives you a smaller goal, which when met, can increase your enthusiasm to reach that final goal.
I find that being honest about myself to myself (if that makes sense) helps me keep to resolutions/diets/challenges. I got an injury end of last year which meant that I had to give up yoga and all my sports except walking. I knew I would get bored of walking (I live in a megacity) so I devised ways of motivating myself, such as preparing podcasts to listen to, subscribing to audio book downloads etc. I try to imagine the weak places in my challenges and then prepare a strategy to ensure I don't go off course.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't always work, but it helps me be prepared.
Thanks for stopping by Bridget! I think you have a great method. Knowing yourself.. and knowing what you need is the biggest part of being successful. You sound like you're walking a great path!
ReplyDeleteThe last 2 points are especially great. My focus for this year is on making as much incremental progress as possible, and in doing as much as I can to make pursuing my goals more and more fun.
ReplyDeleteThere is no universal law which requires goal pursuit to be a chore; and in fact, goals are usually pursued more successfully the more fun they become.
Fun beats willpower in my book.