Where do your beliefs - your deeply held opinions regarding life and everything and everyone around you - come from?
Do you even know? Have you ever thought about it?
Today, I want you to question these beliefs. I want you to ask why.
Why do I have this belief?
Now, before we get started, I want to clarify that I am not referring to religious or spiritual beliefs (although I do feel that they should never be taken lightly or blindly). Instead, I want to focus on other beliefs that are woven into your life, often without you even realizing it.
Have you ever thought:
- I have to ______ before I die.
- I should do something because it's what I'm supposed to do.
- I shouldn't do something because I'm not supposed to do it.
- My friends/family should always ______.
- A real job looks like ______.
- A real marriage is ______.
- And on and on...
These statements, and thousands of others like them, are beliefs you have about your life. Beliefs are the individual threads woven into the fabric of your life (Hmm... I suddenly feel like I stepped out of a Cotton commercial). They help to define who we are, who we interact with, and how we interact with them.
Beliefs Are Good Until They're Not
Beliefs can be very good for us, after all they help us know how to define major areas in our lives. But sometimes these beliefs, which we often rely on to maintain our happiness, can get us into some real emotional hot water. Sometimes, the people in our lives just can't live up to our beliefs. Sometimes, we can't live up to our own beliefs. Sometimes, there's this big, messy, grey area where there isn't a clear cut answer.
Or maybe we make the worst mistake and assume that everyone else shares our beliefs, thereby expecting certain things from them that they don't know they're supposed to do.
A turnip is a turnip, no matter how much you wish it were a carrot. Tweet this.
So why (and when) should you question your beliefs?
1. When they're making you unhappy
If your belief is causing you unhappiness, then it's time to take a deeper look. It's time to start asking why. Is it the belief itself causing your unhappiness? Or maybe it's the consequences of the belief? It could be that you don't really hold the belief, despite telling yourself that you do.
2. Because they're old beliefs you've carried with you for years.
Is it something that's been hammered into you your whole life? Have you been told "this is how it is" so many times that you actually believe it too? You need to really take the time to look into it and make sure you haven't outgrown it.
3.When you haven't objectively considered them.
Have you honestly looked at your beliefs, seriously and objectively, and kept them around because you truly do believe in them. Or do you hold your beliefs because they are the culturally acceptable norm? Forget everyone else - you must concentrate on what's right for you.
4.When they actually belong to someone else.
Humans are very adaptable creatures. And it doesn't stop at climate and diet. We adapt to what is considered "normal" around us as well (among many, many other things). We see what other people consider normal. And out of our desires to fit in, we learn to adopt other peoples standards and beliefs as our own. As I said earlier, sometimes this can be good, but we absolutely must decide of they fit in with our other beliefs. If they don't, the dissonance they cause can be very problematic at best.
Just remember, beliefs aren't laws. They can change as often as you need them to in order to be happy. Question, question, question. If it's not working, find a way to make it work, or toss that sucker. Life's too short to be unhappy!
Have you ever had a belief wreck havoc in your life? What did you do to restore the balance? Share below in the comments.
Image courtesy of Fayez
