Is your self-worth tied to the opinions of others?
Now, before you instinctively throw a "no" at me, answer me this:
- Do compliments make you feel like you made the right decision?
- Do criticisms immediately make you doubt yourself?
- Have you felt unmotivated at work because you haven't received praise like a co-worker has?
- Do you feel unloved because you haven't heard from your friends lately?
If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, then your self-worth is linked, to some degree, to the opinions and actions of someone else.
You aren't alone either.
Most of my life was spent waiting for appraisal and approval from those around me. Childhood bullying coupled with a very shy personality, created a very deflated sense of self-worth. I reasoned that if people were being mean to me, then I must have not been worthy of kindness.
Of course, it took becoming an adult, and learning how to look outside myself, to see that childhood bullying has much less to do with "worthiness" as it is an outlet for the bully's own pain.
The truth is:
It doesn't excuse anyone's behavior, but it really is up to you how someone makes you feel.
It's up to you to accept an opinion of you as truth. Tweet this.
I can't tell you how many years I spent seeking approval and acceptance from everyone except the one person who mattered— myself.
And this just isn't the way to live.
We can't live waiting for someone to make us feel special/loved/worthy. We already are these things, we just haven't noticed because we're so busy waiting!
So, go on! Get outside and dig up those weeds. Prune the dead leaves and broken stems. Feel the possibilities.
And plant your own flowers.
Because those store bought ones? They're living on borrowed time.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it to your favorite social network by clicking the “share” button below.
Image courtesy of Stephen Jones
You aren't alone either.
Most of my life was spent waiting for appraisal and approval from those around me. Childhood bullying coupled with a very shy personality, created a very deflated sense of self-worth. I reasoned that if people were being mean to me, then I must have not been worthy of kindness.
Of course, it took becoming an adult, and learning how to look outside myself, to see that childhood bullying has much less to do with "worthiness" as it is an outlet for the bully's own pain.
The truth is:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt
It doesn't excuse anyone's behavior, but it really is up to you how someone makes you feel.
It's up to you to accept an opinion of you as truth. Tweet this.
I can't tell you how many years I spent seeking approval and acceptance from everyone except the one person who mattered— myself.
And this just isn't the way to live.
We can't live waiting for someone to make us feel special/loved/worthy. We already are these things, we just haven't noticed because we're so busy waiting!
"Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. "— Veronica A. Shoffstall
So, go on! Get outside and dig up those weeds. Prune the dead leaves and broken stems. Feel the possibilities.
And plant your own flowers.
Because those store bought ones? They're living on borrowed time.
If you enjoyed this article, please consider sharing it to your favorite social network by clicking the “share” button below.
Image courtesy of Stephen Jones
