Reflecting On a Great Year and Plans For the New Year

 

Merry Christmas Eve Eve!

And for those not celebrating Christmas, Happy Sunday!

Because, yes, it's Sunday and I usually post on Tuesday. I decided to post today, because I know a whole lot of you are going to be super busy tomorrow and Tuesday, opening presents, savoring the delight on childrens faces, and eating way too many holiday desserts (shh, I won't tell!)

And this is always a great time to look back on our accomplishments this year. Sure you probably didn't meet every single goal you set 12 months ago, but who cares? I know I didn't read the 52 books I arrogantly vowed to read, I didn't finish that novel I've been writing for years.

But the goal isn't always what is important. Sometimes, the anticipation, the desire, the planning is what you really need. Failing to complete all your goals does not mean failure.

Did you learn anything this year? Did you figure out a way to do something better or differently?

Remember:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" —Thomas Edison

Think about the wonderful things you did accomplish this year.

My list of accomplishments include:

• Realizing that I have so much more to say than I ever dreamed.


• Deciding to start a real blog.


• Actually creating said blog.


• Developing my philosophical/religious self


• Finding a novel plot that just might keep my interest long enough to finish writing it


• Realizing my mulitpotentiality thanks the fabulous Emilie Wapnick.


• Meeting some amazing other writers on Google+ (Yes, this means you Bliss Morgan, Heather Dudley, Karen Woodward, Laura Klein, Lewis Miranda, and oh so many others!)


• Meeting some wonderful A-Listers like Bobbi Emel, Leah McClellan, CJ and Tammy, and so many more!

I know you have an amazing list as well!

And what about 2013?

I know I have a long list there as well, the entirety of which I won't bore you with, but here are a few you might be interested in:

• Writing an eBook for Un-Copied Life


• Finishing my novel


• Creating an email course for Un-Copied Life


• Creating several more freebies for my awesome followers

Things will definitely be getting exciting around here!

Which brings me nicely to my next point.

I know some of you probably have noticed already, but in case you haven't (or you're reading this in your email), there are now two lovely new items displayed in the sidebar.

First, I have release the very first freebie for blog subscribers!

It's called Mindful You: Beginners Guide and Workbook. For the most part, it's a compilation of the mindfulness series I did a while back, but it's been put together in pdf format with workbook questions that you can conveniently download onto your computer. (For those already subscribed, I will be sending you a separate email with the link to the download, so make sure to keep an eye out for it!).

As I said, this is absolutely free, but it's only available for subscribers. To subscribe just fill out the subscribe form in the orange bar at the top of the page or the form on the right. (email readers click here)

And second, you'll notice a banner on the right for an absolutely wonderful writing course called The Fast Track To Polished Prose by Leah McClellan. I'm a member of this course, and I can tell you, it's absolutely worth the price. If you are a fellow writer, blogger, or need to brush up on your writing skills for work or school, then you should really check out this course. You can either click on the image below or head over to the new Products & Services page if you'd like to read my disclaimer on affiliate relationships.



Now, I'm off to bake a Pecan Pie and a yummy hash brown casserole for my family's Christmas dinner tomorrow night. I hope all of you are enjoying your holidays, which ever ones they may be!

Let me know in the comments, your top moments of 2012. And what things do you most want to accomplish in 2013?

Make 2013 A Bang From Beginning To End

Ah, it's that time of year again...

Celebrations, family, joy, food, giving, and New Years resolutions. Yes, the dreaded New Years resolution (or much anticipated for a small few).

There are many that claim these resolutions are doomed from the start, and in reality most resolutions never see the bright red hearts of February.

But is it really that we can't keep resolutions, impossible even?

Call me an optimist, by I say no. I say that it's entirely possible...

If you're prepared.

So, what can you do to prepare for 2013? 

Start with the end in mind

Most resolutions fail because they are simply not created with any kind of staying power. So, you've been a smoker for twenty years, but you think you're going to quit cold turkey and succeed? It's certainly possible, but the statistics are weighing heavily against you.

Instead, decide that you will be 100% smoke-free by December 31st. Smoke a pack a day? Decide that you will be down to half a pack by June 30th. And so on and so on. Yes, it make take you an entire year to quit, but isn't that still faster than waiting for another New Years to roll around?

Instead of starting the year off with lofty goals, that even you admit are unlikely, start with a plan. Decide when you want your goal to be completed by, write it down, and mark off a half-way point as well. This will give you some freedom with your goals, enough time to correct should you get off track, and it sets the stage for making lasting habit changes in your life.

Make a list

Start with a big list, with no rules save one, they should all be something that you absolutely want  to do. No making resolutions just because everyone else is. No deciding to do things you know you absolutely won't do.

You can include big things, and little things, job things, and home things. Whatever, as long as you want it enough to work for it.

Not a list maker? Go ahead and try it anyway. What you're doing isn't working, right? Time to try something new.

Ditch that all or nothing thinking

You're going to falter at some point (or several). You're going to fall off the wagon. But you just gotta get back on and hold on a little tighter. Life isn't a football game or a game show. Losing weight or quitting cigarettes is not a pass/ fail, win/lose scenario. As long as you're making even teeny, tiny steps toward your goal, you're winning.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Too many of us think that the road to success is a straight shot, but that couldn't be further from the truth. In reality the road to success looks more like a bowl of spaghetti, twisting and turning, even curling back in on itself, with a few misleading straight shots in between.

[caption id="attachment_569" align="aligncenter" width="553"] The Road to Success[/caption]

 

Have fun

If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong. Even the most painful, boring, or loathesome of tasks can be made fun. If you're trying to lose 30lbs, but the thought of hitting the treadmill again makes you want to cry, then don't! Go outside, play a game, take a hike. Turn up the stereo, grab a kitchen spoon, and make like Mick Jagger. If you can find a way to make things fun, you'll keep doing them.

Now I have a favor to ask you.

Part of my 2013 bucket list includes a lot of changes to Un-Copied Life, including some freebies (one of which you'll get to see before the end of 2012!), an e-course, and more!

All, I need you to do is tell me what topics you'd be most interested in. You can do so by filling out this survey. It's quick (only 7 questions!) and your information will not be shared with anyone. The information will be used only to help me get a better idea of the types of things you'd be most interested in seeing on the blog in the coming year.

Please note that all questions are required to be answered before you can proceed to the next page. If you absolutely can not think of an answer to the question, simply enter n/a into the box.

Thank you so much for all the support you have shown me this year. Here's to making 2013 a bang from beginning to end!

Click here to take the survey.

What's on your 2013 bucket list? Share in the comments below.

Image 1 courtesy of Lori Ann

3 Signs You're Letting The Past Hold You Back

 

Are you chronically stuck in the past? Are you allowing your history to knock your present off track, much like a skipping record? That's the question I'm posing today.

First, I think it's important to note that while the things that happened to you in the past are distinct, individual moments in time, the idea of "the past" has no such distinction. It is impossible to completely compartmentalize the people and events from your past. Because, even if you no longer think of a specific moment in time, it is still there. You may never on call on the memory of it, but in some way it either a) taught you something, or b) reinforced something you already believed, effectively planting itself in your present, whether you know it or not.

In the words of Anthropology and Social Sciences Professor, Michel-Rolph Trouillot:

"But the past does not exist independently from the present. Indeed, the past is only past because there is a present, just as I can point to something over there only because I am here. But nothing is inherently over there or here. In that sense, the past has no content. The past -- or more accurately, pastness -- is a position. Thus, in no way can we identify the past as past." — Michel-Rolph Trouillot

This is all to say, there is no way to completely extinguish your past from your now, even if you're a completely different person than you used to be.

A former drug addict might beat the addiction and become a stand-up, honest, law-abiding citizen, which are seemingly on opposite ends of the spectrum. But his past, the desire to overcome, the desire to change, and the desire to be better, all would come together to allow him to be this new person. There might be millions of stand-up, honest, law-abiding citizens in the world, but none would exactly like him, because they didn't share his unique past.

However, there is a difference between the natural fusion of past and present, and allowing the past to dictate your life.

"Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?" —Mary Manin Morrissey

But how do you know if your past is overtaking your present?

3 Signs You're Letting The Past Hold You Back

1. You cling to nostalgia

Do you find that much of your free thoughts are spent thinking about good old days? No matter how old we are, we all have periods of time in our lives that we feel were pretty great or special. The problem is when we begin to wish we could go back or attempt to recreate that time in our current life.

I've tried this in my life, and I can tell you it doesn't work. People are constantly morphing into new people - we get older, our habits change, our friends change, our beliefs about ourselves and others change - and attempting to force people and situations into what they once were is a recipe for failure.

Try this instead: Think about what it is that is drawing your back to that particular time. Maybe you crave a particular kind of happiness or closeness. Maybe you had a lot of friends, but don't anymore, and you miss the busyness of going out with friends. Figure out what it truly is that you miss, and then find a way to get it in your current life.

For example, if you moved across the country, but you realize that you're always thinking about your old group of friends because you miss the companionship of always having someone to talk to, then you could find a way to meet people. Maybe try out a class or make a promise to say hi to three new people a day. You never know where a connection will be made.  And instead of making yourself miserable wishing you hadn't moved, you're out making new friends.

And keep in mind, that the problem with living in the past and trying to live someone else's life is that neither of these people are you. Tweet this.

 2. You are hurt by imagined wrongs.

Has a friend ever said something that you took as an insult, but was in no way meant to insult you? Maybe they commented on the size of your house and you immediately thought they were calling your house small. Maybe it pisses you off when your mother-in-law stops by and goes right to cleaning your kitchen, because you feel she's silently saying that you aren't doing your job of keeping the house clean.

As a kid, I was bullied and called stupid a lot (even though I was far from it). This transferred into my adult life via anger and embarrassment any time I got something wrong - that irrational feeling of being stupid would always show up.

Try this instead: Look at the situation objectively. Is this person really trying to insult you, or is something from your past trying to bubble up. If you can recognize that the latter is happening, you can stop it. Remind yourself that you are not what this emotion is telling you. Try to think why this person is saying what they're saying. Maybe your mother-in-law isn't making a statement about your cleanliness - maybe she noticed that you have a toddler clinging to your hip while cooking dinner and thought she'd help out and take one task off your to-do list.

I should note that sometimes things are indeed meant as insults. But remember, you control whether or not the insults hit their mark. Your reaction determines whether the person is shooting bullets or shooting blanks.

3. You continue the same thought and action patterns despite knowing they aren't working for you.

The past is familiar. And we tend to like what is familiar. Only sometimes, familiar is what gets us into predicaments.

Take weight loss, for instance. Have you ever tried to lose weight, but get caught up in resentment, toward those to seemingly get to eat whatever they want or toward your younger body that never used to gain weight. We begin to get frustrated when we aren't losing fast enough, and then give up. We do this again and again, ad infinitum, and come to the conclusion that it can't be done.  Except our conclusion is based on faulty logic, incomplete data, and half-hearted attempts.

Try this instead: Instead of basing decisions on past occurrences, take note of the facts (not opinions) about the current situation. Instead of relying on what you think you know, take the time to really look objectively at the situation. Using the example from above, instead of assuming you just can't lose weight, look at the steps that got you there. Did you really eat as well as you thought? Or did you happen to "forget" the nights of snacking in front of the tv?  Keep analyzing everything until you get down to the root of the problem. It's not that you couldn't lose weight, it's that you couldn't lose weight doing what you were doing.

So, borrowing from the Morrissey qoute above, What is it you would let go of today? What is holding you back that you would let go of today? 

Image Source Credit  Image quote by Dennis Waitley

 

The Overdoer's Guide to Getting Things Done

I am always doing way too many things at once. I often find myself reading several books at once, researching several things at a time - often of varying subjects, and multi-tasking all day long. If I'm watching tv, I'm also online. While I'm cooking I'll be doing calf raises or wall pushups in between stirring. I never have less than 3 tabs open on my browser, and I'm currently signed up for 2 online courses (both voluntary) and working through one workbook. Then I have to add in required things like cleaning, working, exercising, grocery shopping and making sure the kids aren't killing each other.

Sound familiar?

With a list like this, I sound like SuperWoman, right? Except that I'm not.

Because what happens when you put more on your plate than your mind can handle?

Overwhelm.

And what do you get done when your overwhelmed? Nothing. Or at least nothing of quality.

When I sit down to work, I start with a mental list of things in my head. One by one the tasks start coming, slowly at first, and then faster, until I have a jumble of things that need to be done and nowhere near enough time to do them all.

• I need to write a post.


• I need to finish my manifesto.


• I need to work on the courses I'm in.


• Which remind me I need to work on planning my own course.


• And oh, the workbook. I really need to work on it too.


• And on and on.

When I sit down with completely free time - nothing to cook, nothing that needs written immediately, nothing to clean - I'll say to myself, "Ok, what now?" The list of thoughts then looks like:

• Free time! What game shall I play?


• Wait, I can't play a game, I should really write another post, get ahead of schedule.


• But the manifesto isn't complete.


• And I still have courses to finish.


• And I still have planning to do.


• Ugh, and I gotta make a grocery list for tomorrow.


• And I still have to...

And on and on it goes. You may not be doing the same tasks as me, but I bet if I erased my tasks and asked you to put yours in, you'd have zero problems filling in the blanks... you might even need more blanks.

The problem with all of this, is not just that we've overbooked ourselves, but also that it's damn near impossible to do one task when you're worried about another. Nothing ever gets done. You keep worrying about what needs to get done. You try again, and the evil cycle continually repeats itself.

So what do you do about it?

 

The Overdoer's Guide to Getting Things Done

1. Start with a list. This list should include everything you need to start, everything you need to finish, and everything in between. Work stuff. Family stuff. Personal stuff. It all goes on the list. So take your time with it. And every time you have the thought "But I really need to do ___", just add it to the list.

2. Cull this list. You and I, both, know this list contains way more than you can feasibly do in a day or a week... maybe even a month, depending on what's on your list. Now is the time to admit that to yourself. It will save you a lot of worry and stress later on. It's time to thin the ranks. Items to really pay attention to:

• Items solely for the purpose of making people like you. This list should only contain things that are for, and that will benefit, you. Going out of your way in order to change the way someone thinks of you is not only time consuming, it's time wasting.


• Excessive volunteering. Helping others is wonderful- but not when you're overloaded. Save it for when you've gotten a handle on your current schedule. If you must include some volunteering, keep it to a minimum and don't sign up for the biggest, most time consuming task available.


• Items that truly aren't necessary. Signed up for yet another pointless class/webinar/subscription that you can already predict what they're going to tell you? Cut them off now! Keep in mind that some "fun" is necessary. Just keep things proportional. An 80/20 ratio of work/fun is a good start. For you workaholics, 20%  may sound like a lot of fun time, but it's essential. It will help prevent burnout and overwhelm, and keep you happier. And as a bonus, happier people tend to do better work, faster.

3. Order your list. You should now have a list of items that are: important, beneficial to you, and necessary for the life that you desire. But to get the most out of your list, it should be in the right order.

• Start with the most urgent. This part is simple. Pick out the items with strict deadlines: work projects, kids birthdays, meetings, fundraisers - anything that you have to do, but don't have flexibility in choosing a date. Write them in your calendar.


• Then move on to the most flexible.These will be the things that are important to you, but individually have no specific completion date. These are things like exercising, changing your eating habits, writing a chapter in your novel, writing a guestpost, making an appointment for your "yearly" health check up. Because of their flexible nature, these are the things that are always put off for "tomorrow". Only tomorrow you put them off again. And again. And again. And then you look up a year later and all you have to show for most of them is an extra 10lbs, and an empty word file where your novel should have been.
  
  
  
  • Set a date. These things don't have deadlines, so give them one. If you know you can always come back to it later, it will never be on top of your priority list.
  
  
  • Write it in your calendar. If you use an electronic calendar (your phone, google, etc), set reminders.
  
  
  
  


• Then finish everything else. Take a look at what's left on your list. These will be things that might have a generalized deadline, but not quite set in stone. Things like cleaning your house or grocery shopping. These are things that haveto be done in the near future, but can be moved around if needed. You have two choices with these:
  
  
  
  • Lock them in. You can always schedule these items, just like you did with the rest. If you like having your day planned ahead of time, this is probably the option for you. Want Saturday to be laundry day? You can do that. Or you can make Sunday, batch cooking day. And Wednesday can be dusting day. Tuesday is errand day. Whatever you decide - whatever is important for you.
  
  
  • Or set up a waiting list. If you're a go-with-the-flow type who likes to leave some things unplanned, this would be the option for you. Because these are things that have to be done frequently, you're unlikely to push them back too far. You can put these on a list and stick them to your refrigerator and get to them as you have time. Have an hour between errands and picking up the kids? Perfect time to wash some dishes, vacuum, or make your grocery list.
  
  
  
  

4. Get things done. With all of your distractions and worries all neatly planned and scheduled, you can finally relax. You can work on one task with completely, without worrying about when you'll get to the rest of them. Not only does this help lower your stress levels, it also allows you to focus on the task at hand, which means you'll get it done quicker, with less chance of errors. And that alone will save you time. Now go on and get things done!

 Image credit: Urs Steiner, Kroszk@